One thing is certain; as you grow spiritually you will be tested. One of the toughest tests (at least for me) is what I’ll call the people test.
This can come at you two different ways. The most obvious is someone you don’t like or that does something to you. This can range from someone who deliberately sabotages you to someone who accidentally cuts you off driving down the road, to someone who takes the last drumstick at Thanksgiving. When you react to that person and get angry, then you are letting that person control your life and your happiness. When you react, they immediately have control over you, and YOU LOSE.
The other people test comes from people you admire or people you love. Often you let that other person determine whether you are happy or not; but you are doing the same thing! You are surrendering control over your own happiness to another person.
Under God’s plan for your life, your happiness always resides within you. The happiness He gives us is independent of circumstances, and independent of other people! If you think about it, it’s really dumb to let other people determine and control your happiness. It’s like becoming a voluntary slave to that person. This is what will happen when you let human relationships take priority over your relationship with God.
The solution is love. God commands us to have virtue love; a love for God first, and then a resulting love for others based on how God loves us.
1 John 4:19
19 We love, because
He first loved us.
When you understand the love of God, and how He loves us based on His integrity, then you can turn that around and love others based on the integrity of God that you have learned. It’s the only way to solve problems with people. There will always be someone that antagonizes you. In your human love relationships, there will always be a time when the person you love disappoints you, or is unlovable. Falling back on the principle that God loves you even when you are antagonistic, or when you disappoint Him will enable you to love others the same way. Without understanding this principle, you are doomed to surrender your happiness to other on a regular basis!
Most believers never reach this understanding. As you grow spiritually and start using this principle, there is one thing you will notice: Your relationships will be better! People will want to be around you more. They know they won’t be judged or criticized! You will bring your own happiness to your relationships with people, but not have to lean on them for your happiness.
Just remember, there’s something more important than other people. It’s the Lord Jesus Christ.
Colossians 3:23-24
23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as
for the Lord rather than for men,
24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive
the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.